REFLECTION AND NEW BEGINNINGS

Time is man made, I always wonder what life would be like if we did not put so much emphasis on time. Meet that deadline, go here, go there....however time is our reality and with time comes new beginnings every January 1st, but before that comes the sometimes cliche reflection on December 31st. 

Last night as I lay in bed and thought about this past year and reflecting upon it I am able to see for myself little by little where I may fit into this world today. Through it all however I am very  overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude. I am so beyond fortunate always and each year things that were once only a dream are piece by piece becoming a reality.

This year saw many things for me including:

-Working as an assistant on two theatre shows

-I met some (famous) people whom I greatly admire

-I met some (not famous) people whom I greatly admire

-Working within two similar yet drastically different corporate structures

-I costume designed a short film and an episodic show, my first designing in quite some time

-Doing things I always said I would NEVER DO, which is, work freelance or be a costume designer

-I worked my first NYFW shows alongside some people whom I have looked up to for a long time

-I continued to pursue a professional relationship that I have been tailgating for 5 years, YES 5 YEARS!

-I started to "just doing" as opposed to "just saying"

-I felt alive

All of this is career related and for me if you know me that is because I identify so much of who I am into what I do. On the other side of things, the personal side, I am always after becoming the best self I can be, not for others but for me. I always want to be able to push myself farther, create something new, betterment towards leaving even just a scrape behind as a reminder that I was here. 

Here is a little story that was told to me by a good family friend!

Right after I graduated college in May 2015 I had nothing lined up really. I had an idea for a business that soon faded off (long story) and I was just floating. One day I stopped by unannounced to this family friends house and it had been quite some time since we had seen one another. Soon the conversation shifted to what I was doing. I went on and on about what I was doing to find a job in my areas of interest and blah blah blah. She then brought up a good point, the thought that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of an idiot. I laughed. She is very right, she said that if something is not working for you after a span of time, change it, try a different approach. Then I went on to explain how the industry is with online applications and such, she didn't want to hear any of that because at the end of the day "the squeaky wheel gets the oil", in this case the oil is the job. 

Continuing on in the conversation I went on about various opportunities that came my way but I was stalling on them because they were not what I wanted to do. She then opened up to me about the lowest point in her life, she is almost 60 so she has lived through many ups and downs however this was the lowest. She explained the situation and said she wanted nothing more than to lock herself in her house and become a hermit, instead she did the opposite. Every time someone invited her somewhere, to a party, to try something new, something she was good at, something she was bad at...she said YES! She remained OPEN! (There was this great gesture of holding your arms up like a giant funnel, symbolizing you are open to all things that come to you.

One of the examples was the racing of dragon boats on the Connecticut River, she didn't even know what it was, all she said to the person on the other end of the phone, "when and where, I will see you there". By saying yes to that she meant so many interesting people, she was a part of a team and if she did not show up every week she was not only letting herself down but her entire team. It helped her through her tough time, the accountability, and the experience was only possible because when prompted with the opportunity she said YES!

This year I SAID YES and remained OPEN, it brought me to things and people I was not so sure I would ever make it to, both good and bad. This new year I plan on remaining OPEN as well as saying YES, but in addition I am adding GO FOR IT! Life is short and we only regret the things we do not do, as Cher says, "We can always say shit I shouldn't have done that". 

Happy New Year! Be the best YOU you can be, challenge yourself, love yourself, take a leap of faith and in turn your actions will help others to become their best selves too! 

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.”
— -Carrie Bradshaw